The Agony of Being Empathic

Being able to pick up what another person feels against you is a scary intuition and empathy.

I got the chill when I first met this new project manager who just joined the company and our team. It was a hostility in his eyes when shaking his hand. Then, I spent the rest of six months standing up to his bullying and defending myself until I left the company, where I worked as a coder a few years ago.

On one occasion, we had this cliche 16 Personalities test in an HR game, and I scored as INFJ. He was shocked. I didn't know why he was shocked at mine but not at others in front of the whiteboard where we displayed our results. There were about 30 of us and he only overreacted to mine when seeing I was the only one in this category. After all, 16 Personalities or the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator is pseudo-science. Believing in it is akin to believing in the horoscope.

On another occasion, we had a "telltale" HR game on our dining table. I put "love art" on a piece of paper. He was shocked at mine when we revealed the persons behind the papers. "What books do you read?", "Science books." "Name one!", "Cosmos by Carl Sagan". He was speechless. He did not know the book, of course. No one did on the table. But no one was as shocked and speechless as him.

He might be shocked to death if I carried on. Or be raged to death for being stood up to as I defied his bullying constantly. So I saved him. I let him live. I gave my empathy and intuition a break.

But there is no break in empathy and intuition. They exhaust you at times. They give you the chill on and off. The goosebumps. Good or bad. I don't remember since when I have had the chill wherever I look into someone's eyes. Ancient probably. It can be half-saved by not looking. But if you happen to have empathy and intuition vividly, trust them. Be guided by them, until you are safe.