In my memory, you never had a cat. Only towards the end of your life, I am told that you had one unwanted cat from the hillside village where you lived. When I was small, you used to tell me a story, in which at the beginning of my life you found me by the tip abandoned and unwanted. I still believe that joke today. So must you remembered that many times I begged you to take me to where you found me. One day you did take me to the tip. I stood at the giant bin tank and goggle. You giggled and had fun. I was a little unwanted soul - a little joy of yours. I still remember the rusty smell of the bin tank with the waste people dumped there. Sometimes they dumped babies, live kittens... they all died unwanted. 'But I saved you and took you home', you always said. So towards the end of your life, you must have thought of me as the cat that you fed each day. When you saw the cat, you saw me. When you talked to the cat, you talked to me. When you held the cat, you held me... until the end of your time. You are now free from time. I am still a time's prisoner. At times, when I see a cat, I see you. When I talk to cats, I talk to you. When I hold a cat, I hold you. When cats look at me, it seems that it is you who is looking at me. You must have lived in cats since. When I feed the unwanted cat from the neighbourhood, I learn how you and your cat lived - both of you just wanted to be wanted. Perhaps, it was one day in the sunny afternoon, you were alone by yourself at home, looking into the distance where you could see the span of sea from the hill, wondering where all your children and grandchildren were, thinking of me, then the unwanted cat wandered into your sight, wanted to be wanted just as much as you did. So, you found the cat and the cat found you. Just like you found me by the tip and I found you under the Sun. We have no differences - you, me, or cats. All life were made by stars. Tangled on Earth. Mysterious souls. Sometimes I am a cat. Sometimes I am you. Sometimes I am the unwanted from the tip. You found me. I found you. From time to time, we still find each others.
20.02.2013, 02:08 am, Wednesday.
© Lau Tiam Kok